Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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