yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
