My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
