Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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