Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I didn't notice because vodka
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
