I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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