Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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