fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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