Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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