I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
