Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
