My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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