It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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