Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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