WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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