That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
