i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
