8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
