They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We got so high we made milksteak
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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