...so i touched it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize