It's Friday. Sex?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
