You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
