i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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