When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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