farters have to be the big spoon...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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