i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Randomize
