I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
