Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
