some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
