i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
