True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
