yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
