Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
