yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
