You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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