I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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