you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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