no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
