If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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