I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
