no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Pants are for mortals
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
