I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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