I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
