Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
