why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
