yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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