mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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