It's like God shit irony all over that family
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
