Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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