Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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