well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
