Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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