my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize