I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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