Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
