last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize