and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
